You're the truth, not I
by TG2
Summary: Set in my own imaginery s8, sometime after Quid Pro Quo
1. Chapter 1

**Set sometime during s8, after Ruth's return on Quid Pro Quo.**

**As usual - I don't own anything or anyone, just having some fun with them until Kudos will need them back for the real series 8.**

**Thanks Em for the beta.**

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Elinor was sitting on her living room sofa, staring at some invisible point in the dark, trying to clear her thoughts. When the phone finally rang, she sighed and reluctantly pushed the answer button.

"Sir," she said, preparing herself for the worst.

"You'd better have a damn good explanation for this," a male voice boomed at her from the other side.

"We're still trying to…" she tried to explain.

"Well, try harder! This shouldn't have happened!"

"Yes sir, I know," she answered, quietly, closing her tired eyes.

"We worked too hard to get to this point, make sure this doesn't happen with the others."

"The others, sir?" That wasn't what she expected to hear. "Are you sure you want to carry on after what happened?"

"Of course we're going to carry on." He sounded very sure of himself. "We can't let one slipup ruin the entire operation."

"Right," she sighed.

"I'll be expecting a full report on my desk by tomorrow evening, good night."

He then hung up, leaving her to her thoughts and another sleepless night.

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"_…the identity of the shooter is still unknown. The man managed to injure two passers-by on Westminster Bridge before shooting himself. Luckily, there were only a few people on the bridge, due to the late hour…"_

"Right," Harry said, as he turned off the car radio, "I have a feeling we'll have enough of that tomorrow."

"Right," Ruth smiled at him from the passenger seat.

Harry sighed, quietly, when he pulled over outside her house, not really wanting the evening to end. This had been their third "official" date since she came back into his life, and he was still afraid that he was going to wake up only to find out this was all just a dream.

"So," he smiled, as he turned to face her, taking her hands in his, "I hope you had a good time tonight."

"I did," she whispered, as she leaned over and gently kissed him.

His smile broadened once they parted, and he quietly said, "Thank you"

"What for?" she laughed.

"For letting me spend time with you, for this," he pointed at his lips to indicate the kiss, "for just being you."

She smiled as she kissed him once again. "Good night Harry," she whispered, quietly, in his ear, "See you tomorrow."

He couldn't help the sheepish smile on his face as she stepped out of the car and walked towards her front door. As she reached it, she turned around and smiled when she saw he was still watching her. She mouthed a silent _good night_ and stepped into her house, closing the door behind her.

Harry couldn't believe how happy he felt; he couldn't wish for anything better right now, and he didn't care how long it took until she invited him into her house. He'll wait until the end of the world for her, he thought, as he started the car and drove to his own home, already counting down the minutes until he would see her again tomorrow.

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Ruth sighed as she closed the door behind her. She closed her eyes for a minute before turning on the hall lights, savoring the taste of his lips for just a little longer.

A loud meow woke her from her daydreams.

"Hey Fidget, ready for your late snack I presume?" She smiled at the fact that even 3 years in exile hadn't been enough to banish her habit of talking to her cat out loud.

As she stepped into the kitchen, something moved to her right, just on the edge of her peripheral vision. She quickly turned to see what it was when she felt a pinch on her left arm.

"What the…!?" she managed to say, before everything turned black.

_---------_

_She was dreaming, she was pretty sure of that._

_She was in a forest, alone, a soft purring sound from above her made her notice Fidget was sitting on a tree branch, staring at her._

_"Just like the Cheshire cat," she mused. "Maybe I should ask you which way I need to go."_

_Just as if he understood her, Fidget jumped off the tree, walked a few steps away from her, and then stopped and looked at her._

_"You want me to follow you?"_

_He gave a _meow_ and, if she didn't know better, she could have sworn he nodded._

_Ruth shrugged and decided she had nothing to lose; this _was_ a dream, after all. She followed the cat for a few minutes, deep into the forest, until she could hear someone singing in the distance._

_"And thems the breaks,_

_For we designer fakes,_

_We need to concentrate on more than meets the eye._

_Thems the breaks,_

_For we designer fakes,_

_But it's you I take, cause you're the truth, not I," _

_Ruth followed Fidget into a clearing, where the singing voice seemed to come from. When she entered the clearing, she stopped dead in her tracks – the woman who was singing there was…her._

_The 'other Ruth' smiled at her. "Hi," she said._

_"Ummm, hi…" Ruth hesitated, "Ruth?"_

_"No, I'm Suzan, you're Ruth." The woman never stopped smiling, which Ruth found a bit creepy._

_"What…?"_

_"I'll explain everything soon enough," Suzan said, impatiently, "First, there's a phone call you need to make."_

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"Harry."

Harry smiled when he heard Ruth's voice on the other side of the line.

"Good morning, how are you?" he asked, cheerily.

"Well, I'm fine, I mean, I'm not fine, but I will be, I'm sure, soon."

"What's wrong?" The smile vanished from his face, replaced with a look of concern.

"Nothing, Harry, really," she laughed, nervously. "I think I shouldn't have ordered those oysters last night, my stomach is disagreeing with me a bit, that's all."

"Oh," Harry let out a sigh of relief, "take the day off, then. Rest."

"I will, thank you,." She sounded relieved.

"Do you want me to come over later and check up on you?" he asked, gently.

"No!" she said, a bit too abruptly. "I'm fine really, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

Harry gave the phone a puzzled look before he shrugged, and continued with his daily routine. He supposed he would have to wait patiently until tomorrow to see her.

_----------_

_"Good girl," Suzan said._

_"Now what?" Ruth gave her an annoyed look. She didn't care much for the other woman's condescending tone. _

_"You wake up."_

_"Sorry?" _

_"Remember, you're the truth, not I," was all Suzan said in reply, and then Ruth woke up._

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**To be continued (your reviews might help it happen sooner rather then later :))**

**The title and the quote is taken from a song called "Twenty Years" by Placebo**


	2. Chapter 2

**I apologize for the not posting this sooner, life got the better of me and my spare time...**

**I was a bit in a hurry to publish this so no beta was done, I apologize in advance for all the mistakes**

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Ruth woke up in a dark room that didn't quite feel like her bedroom. She felt the wall behind her where the light switch should have been but couldn't find it. She felt herself starting to panic when someone knocked on the door.

"Suzan, wake up sleepy head, you're going to be late for work," A man called from the other side.

"Suzan?" Ruth mouthed quietly, while still looking for the light switch.

"_That's you,_" Said a calm voice inside her head, "_And the man outside is your brother, David, you share a flat together, don't you remember?"_

_"_I'm Suzan" Ruth repeated the information to herself.

"_That's right," _answered the voice, which she now recognized as her own.

Ruth finally found the light switch and turned the lights on, she got out of bed and stood in front of the cupboard mirror, "Suzan," she repeated the name again

"Come on, I made breakfast and it's getting cold!" urged the voice from outside

"Right, silly me," Suzan smiled at her reflection and then raised her voice and said, "I'll be right down David!"

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Eleanor sighed as she watched Ruth and Steve, or as they were now called Suzan and David, on her monitor having breakfast. They both looked quite content as they chatted with each other.

"Looks like we're getting better at this," said the young man who set next to her, "Both of them assimilated their new identities in record time."

Eleanor smiled at him in response, Steve was the first subject they let him monitor on his own and he was doing a great job so far.

"Just don't let your guard down, Ron, even for a second," she cautioned him, "We don't want any more mishaps."

"I won't," he reassured her.

Eleanor turned her attention back to the monitors as Ruth and Steve were clearing the dishes. She kept telling herself that what they were doing was necessary and that this time they have taken all the possible precautions, but deep inside of her something still didn't feel right.

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Harry was reading the text message on his cell phone for the third time, "Still sick, nothing to worry about, will call later x Ruth" was all it said, and it was almost identical to the one he got the day before. The problem was that Ruth's last call was two days ago when she first got ill and he was starting to get very worried.

"What do you think I should do?" He asked Scarlet who was walking beside him.

Scarlet barked in response and wagged her tail.

"You're right," he laughed, "probably nothing to worry about, she'll be fine. Come on. Let's get the morning paper."

Harry just entered the store and greeted the man at the counter when he noticed the familiar woman on the other side of the store standing with her back to him.

"Ruth?" He asked cautiously as he approached her, the woman didn't respond.

Harry reached her and placed a hand on her shoulder, gently turning her towards him.

"Ruth, it is you," he smiled, "What are you doing so far from your home?"

"I'm sorry?" the woman looked a bit confused, "Do I know you?"

"Ruth? Is everything alright?" Harry now looked very concerned.

"My name is Suzan, not Ruth." She said firmly.

"Ruth! What's going on?" Harry said as his grip on her shoulder tightened.

"_Run!"_ Said the voice in Ruth's head

"I'm sorry sir, I don't know you, could you please let me go," Ruth said while pushing his hand off her shoulder.

"Ruth!" Harry was now shouting when the woman pushed him aside and ran out of the store.

He tried to run after her but Scarlet's leash got tangled on itself with all the excitement and by the time he got out she was nowhere to be seen.

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"Oh shit", Eleanor mumbled as she saw Harry approach Ruth on the monitor, "This can't be good."

She picked up an earpiece that was connected to the terminal and shouted a single word into it "Run!"

"I have to get out there and sort this mess out, "She told Ron once she saw that Ruth was following her order, then she got up and out of the surveillance van and into the street.

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Harry stood outside the store panting and surveying his surroundings when he noticed someone standing on the other side of the road looking at him.

He quickly crossed the road and approached the woman, who motioning him to follow her. She led him into a small garden behind a building where she set on a bench, indicating that Harry should do the same.

"I'm sorry we have to meet like this, Mr. Pearce," She started with no introductions," but I just wanted to reassure you that Miss Evershed is perfectly alright and will be back to Section D in a week's time"

"Who are you? What the hell's going on?"

"My name is Eleanor, I'm from the Section of Psychiatric Research, Miss Evershed and a few other operatives were selected for an experiment we are conducting, I can assure you that it's perfectly safe and any effects this may have on her should be reversible"

"Should be?" Harry could hardly contain his anger, "I'm sorry, but I'm not really reassured by that. What kind of experiment is this and who the hell authorized the use of real live operatives?"

"I promise you that everything went through the proper channels and that we have authorizations for everything," Eleanor tried to sound calm, "I can't tell you more about the experiment at this stage, I can only apologize for not telling you anything in advance and ask you to please stay away from Ruth"

"I will not do such a thing!" Harry was now yelling, "I demand that you stop this experiment right now"

"I'm sorry sir, we can't do that," Eleanor stood up in an attempt to get away from his wrath, "you are requested to stay away, and that is a direct command from the DG, good day"

Before Harry could say another word Eleanor turned and practically ran away, leaving him alone with his anger and frustration.

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**Next chapter - a short journey into Ruth's ****subconscious**

**I really hope that things are a bit clearer now, I will try to post the next one sooner, but you already know what might help with that (points at the shiny review button) ;)**


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